There is a misconception that leadership is all about setting direction and inspiring others. In reality, leadership starts long before that in how we manage ourselves.
“……before you can lead others, You must be able to lead yourself.
If you cannot lead yourself others won’t follow you.
If you cannot lead yourself others won’t respect you.
If you cannot lead yourself others won’t listen to you.
If you cannot lead yourself others won’t trust you.
If you cannot lead yourself others won’t understand you.
If you cannot lead yourself how will you make a difference?” – Lolly Daskal
When people think about leadership, they often jump straight to “leading others”. How do I motivate my team? How do I drive performance? How do I manage change? How do I get people to follow me? But in my experience, the foundation of leadership isn’t about others at all, it starts with you. You must consider that if you can’t control your own behaviours, values, emotions and reactions, why should anyone else trust you to lead them?
That might sound obvious, but it’s something I’ve seen play out time and time again across multiple industries and contexts, the military, the NHS and in organisations I’ve supported as a leadership consultant. Emotional Intelligence and self awareness are one of the main predictors when it comes to positive leadership outcomes (better performance, engagement, learning and wellbeing). Leaders who recognise their emotions, understand how they’re perceived and manage interpersonal dynamics produce much better follower outcomes including trust, support and reduced conflict. Many studies show that emotional intelligence and other related self-awareness constructs, reliably predict leadership effectiveness and team functioning.
Nearly all of the leaders that I hold in the highest regard are those that I met during my time in the British Army. It is hardly surprising! I spent most of my career as a soldier, and leadership is the Army’s core business (in the same way the patient care is core business of the NHS, and engineering is the core business of Thames Water). Why wouldn’t the best leaders be in the military where they lead soldiers into battle, and a single error in judgement can cost the lives of your team? What set these particular leaders apart was their ability to lead themselves, and to remain composed and rational under the most intense pressure. I never saw them lose their cool and I never saw anything other than the highest possible standards. Just consider how rare that it! It is so unusual because typically, when we are under pressure our perception narrows, our primeval neurological programming kicks in and we can lack focus or become very irrational. These leaders had mastered leading themselves to the point that non of those things were detectable. The military trains it’s leaders to operate under pressure and they do that in a controlled environment. Leaders are then encouraged to reflect in a structured way. There is a learning culture that all leaders are bought into because the price of getting it wrong can be catastrophic. This may be part of the reason for their impeccable leadership but it could also be that they worked very hard on their emotional intelligence, self awareness and conducting themselves in a way where they kept their head when everyone else was losing theirs.
There are many examples of how leading ones self has led to outstanding team outcomes. Perhaps the clearest example is that of Ernest Shackleton, the polar explorer. In 1914, Shackleton set out on the Endurance expedition to cross Antarctica. Before the expedition even began, the ship became trapped in sea ice and was eventually crushed, leaving 28 men stranded in one of the harshest environments on Earth for nearly two years!
What made Shackleton legendary was not just survival, but how he led himself under almost unimaginable pressure. He never let despair or anger consume him in front of the crew, even when he must have felt it privately. His composure gave the men confidence. The decisions that he made were guided by the principle that every man’s life was more important than the expedition’s glory. His high levels of emotional intelligence meant that he noticed when morale dipped, deliberately rotated duties to avoid resentment, and kept the crew engaged with routines, games and encouragement. Perhaps most notable were his levels of personal accountability. He put himself in the same or greater hardship as his men, modelling endurance and resilience. The result? Against the odds, Shackleton brought every single member of his crew home alive. Shackleton’s Way by Margot Morrell and Stephanie Capparell is one of the best leadership books that I have ever read.
A sporting example that sticks in my mind was what became known to football fans as ‘the miracle of Istanbul’. In the 2005 Champions League Final, Liverpool were 3–0 down at half time against AC Milan. Most of the Liverpool players looked as though they were resigned defeat and I’m sure even the most positive fan assumed that the game had gone. They had not accounted for what Liverpool Captain, Steven Gerrard did next. His self-leadership under despair was quite incredible. Rather than letting his own disappointment show, he channelled his energy into determination. He visibly rallied the team on the pitch, signalling through body language, energy and communication that they weren’t finished. He ran around the pitch like a man on a mission and his action spoke much louder than his words! His headed goal for sparked the comeback, not just technically but emotionally. I remember how his teammates’ energy visibly changed and the crowd noticed it too.
Liverpool went on to draw 3–3 and win on penalties in one of the most remarkable comebacks in football history. Gerrard didn’t just play well, he led himself perfectly, turned his own mindset into inspiration and lifted the entire team*
Both examples show the same pattern: when a leader manages their own mindset, behaviour and values under pressure, they create the conditions for extraordinary team outcomes.
So before asking “How do I lead my team?” maybe the better starting point is:
“How well am I leading myself?”
Leadership isn’t all about being in charge. It’s about creating the vision, setting direction, taking people with you and getting results. It’s about being someone worth following. And that begins, always, with you.
We have developed a series of resources that you can use to explore your own leadership. Take a look and complete your own “Manual of Me”
*I want it to be known that I am not a Liverpool fan….just in case! 😉